Soon after getting her pregnancy test results, Winnie had opted to go to hospital for a confirmatory diagnosis. This was not so much a decision of hers as it was Paul’s (her husband). He had told her that it would be better if they knew for sure. It is not that Paul wasn’t welcoming of a new member into the family, it was that his being a lawyer had instilled in him the trait of dealing with nothing but facts. He had propounded that certainty would help in making the necessary preparations and adjustments. He for one thought that knowing would help Winnie decide on when to take leave from her job.
The morning when she left for hospital, she had been both happy and anxious. What if the home kit was faulty? What if she was not pregnant after all? What if she had gotten excited for nothing? What if she had spent her nights awake looking up cute bisexual baby clothes for nothing? What would she tell all the people she had been so quick to call and notify about her unverified pregnancy? Imagine the mortification she’d have should the doctor say she was not pregnant.
She was getting herself all shook up and worked up from all these thoughts and questions. By the time she got to hospital she was a nervous wreck. The doctor had to give her a xanax placebo to calm her down. When she eventually did, she was directed to the phlebotomy lab to give a specimen. When the lab assistant handed her the urine specimen bottle, she froze. She wanted to leave and go home and forget she ever took the test and probably wait a couple months to see if her belly will grow big and round.
Ever since she was a kid, Winnie hated disappointments. She would get disillusioned by the tiniest of things. Sometimes, when things did not go as she planned she’d have paroxysms of anger and throw things everywhere ;clothes, furniture, glassware, everything that she could lay her hands on. One time, she scored a B in her history essay in high school and she spent an entire summer studying up late and going to the library so that she wouldn’t have to ‘fail’ next time. She was somewhat of a perfectionist. You can imagine the dismay and flare up there would be if the doctor announced that it had been a false positive result.
Unlike Winnie, Jennie was not one to throw tantrums whenever she was disenchanted. Matter of fact, she was quite the opposite. She would focus her mind on something totally different and just simply ignore the problem at hand. Of all the things that distinguished Winnie and Jennie, this was the most obvious. In a way, this worked out perfectly because Winnie’s melodramatic and temperamental character was balanced out by Jennie’s phlegmatic and imperturbable nature.
It took a couple of nurses to convince her that no matter what the outcome, there is always a silver lining. Thirty minutes was what it took before she stepped into the ladies room, bottle in hand and apprehension plastered all over her face. She said a silent prayer to God begging him not to snatch this bundle of joy from her. She pleaded with him not to shine a light on her only to snatch it away.
She had jumped up and down the doctors office , shouting in joy at the top of her lungs and even hugged the doctor for well over five minutes. Her effervescence and ebullience was characteristic of that seen when a man diagnosed with oligoasthenoteratozoospermia is able to get his wife pregnant after decades of unfruitful trials.
Everyone at the hospital looked at her with stupefied and astounding eyes. What was so great about being pregnant? Some asked.
Humans exhibit quite paradoxical and ironic behaviors. Here was a woman,perky and vivacious, so thrilled and ecstatic about the thought of being with child while somewhere, probably in a dark hidden ally was another trying to get pills for an abortion to rid herself of her pregnancy. What was a blessing to one person was weirdly a burden to another. Such are the incongruities of life.
Which brings me to one more thing that really infuriated Winnie. By profession, she was a lecturer at a small college that went by the name ” The Great Parkview College ” in her town but during her extra time she was a humans rights activist. She fought for the rights of those who couldn’t fight for themselves. She gave a voice to the voiceless. Her passion for justice and equality had earned her the sobriquet ‘Lady Justice’. This epithet had spread not only in her town but far beyond. Often times she’d travel to visit different states and she’d hear people, both old and young whisper beneath their breaths,
‘ there goes lady justice ‘. Of course, she’d feel proud and honored and always prayed that God give her the strength to keep fighting for the rights of people. Her opinions on abortion were quite strong. She rebuked any woman (and by extension anyone who helped her) who performed an abortion except of course those who did it for medical reasons. She had deep and valid personal reasons to loathe such behavior.
As she headed back home, she passed by a few malls to check out some baby clothes and shoes and toys. While in the bus she looked up a few designs for the baby’s room and saved some numbers of well known painters and interior designers. She was just happy. Why wouldn’t she be?
One year into her marriage with Paul, she had still not been blessed with a baby. They had both gone to the best fertility centers in the state and still had nothing to show for it. The doctors had interpreted her hysteroscopy results to say that she had what they called Asherman’s syndrome. Basically, she had a lot of scar tissue in her uterus. She had gone for several adhesiolysis procedures but still couldn’t get pregnant.
That had been her lowest point in life. This time she had thrown no tantrums. She sunk into a deep depression. She refused to eat, drink and even go out. Most days, she’d stay locked up in the attic crying and mumbling songs about unfairness and heartache. Paul had to give up his cases and stay home with her although most of the time she’d remain distant and refuse to talk to him.
So, now you see why her happiness and over excitement is justified. Only she could understand. One minute she’s in a doctor’s office being told that she can’t have kids and the next she’s in a doctor’s office being told that she is pregnant. Funny how situations can turn around in the blink of an eye.
She didn’t forget however, that she was still not out of the woods. She knew that this pregnancy would need a lot of care and caution. She knew she would have to make sacrifices to keep it safe. But she was prepared, she was ready to do anything, go anywhere, follow everything that the doctors would say. If they thought it would be a good idea for her to leave her job immediately, so be it. If they ask her to drink some bitter concotion, then so be it. She had been patient for long enough and she would continue to be.
Mary_Nyambura 